Beachcombing

Sis Shockey, a fellow graduate from Waynesboro (PA) High School recently shared the following on her birthday: “I don’t call it getting old, I call it outliving the warranty.”

Personally, I tell people “If I had known I’d live this long that I would have taken better care of myself.”

Things started going downhill last May when I got on the CardioFit exercise machine and tore the meniscus in my right knee. This led to arthritis issues in several musculo-skeletal joints, prompting an ongoing search for the best pain medication.

Thankfully we were able to fulfill a bucket list goal of visiting Italy on my 80th birthday and I read that a fellow octogenarian, Press-Telegram Columnist Rich Archbold, recently went there as well with his wife, Pat. The cobblestone streets of Rome, numerous staircases, long airport walking distances and jammed airplane seating are good reasons to limit any future, long-distance travel.

I keep in touch with a dozen or so other high school graduates via Zoom these days, on the second Thursday morning of each month. Those sessions often reveal their surgeries for joints, cataracts and other stuff. Out of the 190 teens in our class of 1962, 60 percent are still kicking. Three of us live in California.

Climbing ladders and plumbing tasks are a few things that don’t come easy for us old-timers. I’m currently looking for a handyman to replace the water-damaged Armstrong ceiling planks in my man cave, now that a new roof has been installed at our Park Estates home of 50 years.

Then there’s our new dog, Bodie. My son, Jeff, brought home the rescue labrador two weeks ago that enjoys exercise and some tasks that exceed my abilities. He’s about 75 pounds, loves chasing balls and always wins in the tug-of-war game. Listed at five years old, he’s probably a couple of years younger, very friendly, does not frequently bark like other neighborhood dogs and doesn’t bite.

The US Postal Service is currently conducting a media campaign entitled “Don’t let your dog bite the hand that serves you.” They report that nationwide there were 5,800 dog attacks on carriers last year and 65 of them were in Los Angeles. Good dog, Bodie.

Most of my time is spent at home these days, so Bodie is my daytime companion until my son gets home from work. When I took the dog to the office last weekend he was perplexed with the stairs and elevators, so we’ll need to work on that.

Finally I’ll share some humor that I found while cleaning up some old paperwork at my home office desk. It was sent to me by my brother in 2001, entitled “Why it’s good to be a man.”

• Your name stays put.
• The garage is all yours.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.
• The world is your urinal.
• Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
• You never have to drive to another gas station because this one is just too icky.
• There’s a few dozen more that I’ll share some other time.

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